Lots of stuff to talk about today.
Yeah...really eventufl day today. Lots of things happened. Major decissions were made, people were confused, reflections were done...and in the end...i'm still unsure about what'll happen to me.
I feel like Antoinette in Wide Sargasso Sea...how she tries to attain happiness through different ways but it always seems out of reach. So she settles for other states like contentment and feeling secure. So many possibilites have been running through my head.
Would I have been happier in Innova?
Would I have been happier if I was in poly?
Would I have been happier doing Arts?
Happier if I had been more open during orientation?
Happier if I wasnt in SC?
Yes...we've come to the source of all problems. SC.
No, I dont regret joining SC. I'm not feeling the stress of it (yet). But what made me really rethink everything was the fact that Maran is going to quit.
How Ironic really. 6 Unitians (that I know of) appied for SC. 6 of us went through campaigning week. And out of all of them...I'm the only one who's still in it.
When in the begining, I was the one who didnt want in.
Why? How did it end up like this? I know, i'm weak agains peer pressure. Thats how I really actually decided to apply for it in the first place. But I have to admit, after the experiential learning, I really did decided with my heart and soul that i WANTED to be in SC. But i find it so strange...cause now its just me...
And i'm wondering if I made the right decission. I dont know. I'll know tomorow I guess.
I dont intend to quit. I never wanted to quit anyway. I worked to get in and I'll work to stay in. I'll do my best. That I promise.
Lit lesson tomorrow! Its a WWS lesson, not poetry. I kinda like WWS more. One cause i like the book, and two cause the lessons are slightly more active. In poetry everyone just kinda sits there at trembles in Mr. Sas's wake O_O!
Anyway...speaking of which...I have the totally insatiable and irrational urge to write poetry.
Little Glass BoxFrom the moment I became consious
Of my existance in this world
The only home i've ever known
was my little glass box
four walls arround me, a lid ontop
i think its locked
it must be locked
but i'm fine
i'm contented
in my little glass box
As time goes by, I begin to see
behind these four glass walls
Places, people passing by
outside my little glass box
who needs them? who cares?
The lid's locked anyway
I'm sure its locked
So i ignore them
i'm happy
in my little glass box
As years drag on, disdain becomes envy
I yearn for what lies beyond
I feel restricted, trapped within
my tiny little glass box
The lid is open, i know now for sure
But still I leave it shut
I fear the dangers that might await
but yet I want out
I begin to resent
this restraining little glass box
My life's nearing its end, and just one time
I wish to go outside
I have no apprehension, I have nothing to lose
goodbye my little glass box
one last time i push at the lid
this time I open it for sure
I emerge from my refugue.
I look arround...
I'm free.~Jaspreet
What is it with me and writing depressing stuff these few days? *Sigh*
Poetry reflects the mood i suppose.
Enjoy the crap poem.
Arrivenderci
~Kyra~
//Sayonara~!//
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