Anime Laws of Physics
1)The more retarded a plan is, the more likely it is to work.
2) Main characters and villians cannot be killed by secondary characters. This is because main characters have plot protection from secondary characters. In essence, no matter if they are brutally stabbed multiple times and seem dead, they aren't really dead. Guess someone should have told that to those filler Arrancars, eh Ulquiorra?
3) Villains either are butt-ugly monsters or gay dudes. Certain exceptions are an mix of both.
4) The bad guy has fan girls.
Unless Especially if he's a transvestite.
5) The quicker someone dies off, the more likely they are not really dead.
6) When a character performs an attack, they MUST yell out it's name, therefore giving their opponent the obvious advantage of knowing what they're going to do, but never doing what they can do to prevent or counter it. If they don't yell out the name, it doesn't count because that's cheating.
-This was first used in popular anime The Bible, in which the main character God, unleashes his signature move 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!'
-The louder said character shouts the name of an attack, the more powerful that attack will be.
-The stupider the name of the attack is, the more damage it will do7) The main characters thoughts and/or long emotional conversations may never be interrupted, even if they take place in the middle of world-deciding battles.
8) When in doubt, scream loudly and sacrifice yourself to have no effect on the enemy.
9) There is no anime without the presence of at least one samurai.
10) There is one pink haired character in every anime. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME GO CHECK!
11) You may not start kicking the bad guy's ass until the cool music starts
12) The more an enemy brags about easily beating the main character, the easier that enemy will be defeated.
13) a final showdown starts with a half hour staring contest followed by hour long flashback scenes.
14) However, a powerful attack against characters will always cause them to bleed from the mouth. Punched in the gut? Blood escapes from the mouth. Stabbed in the shoulder? Blood in the mouth. I wonder why...
15)Bad guys that seem too cool to be villains often end up turning into the main characters rival.
Conversely, Secondary main characters that seem too badass or powerful early in the the series will often end up turning to evil (lookin' at YOU Sasuke Uchiha! *Glare*) or revealing that they were villains from the very beginning.
16) Both the main character main cillan can wield incredibly large and heavy looking weapons despite possessing no muscles whatsoever
17) While in no way stronger than the Main character, the female counterpart possesses the ability to beat the main character at anything she wishes.
18) Fat was never introduced to anime women's systems.
19) A female alien can be incredibly beautiful by human standards. If the heroine is alien, she will look like a typical Japanese school girl , even if the rest of her kind look like relatives of ET
20) Acceleration is not affected by friction, air resistance, or any other natural force, but rather something called
"whatever I feel like". This allows anyone with no real training or experience to jump over buildings, accelerate to unhealthy speeds from a dead stop in a second or less, change the direction of their jumps (and start spinning) in midair, and many other feats that make the real world seem boring and pointless.
21) gravity does not affect the lead cast.
23) Hair and clothes are indestructible. After a long intense battle, the shirt is either missing completely or loses a sleeve
24) When a person jumps an innumerable amount of feet in the air, makes a killing blow, or both, they fall at one fifth of the force of gravity while the rest of the world is affected normally.
25) people may stretch their mouths past their faces into a two-dimensional space that has no real existence.
26) Hair has a unique property, where it becomes TRANSPARENT when placed in front of the eyes or eyebrows
27) Eyes are normaly twice the size of anything else on the face.
28) Whenever something witty or plain stupid is said, Smart people summon a giant drop of sweat on their forehead.
29) No matter how f**king big that sword is, nobody will notice you. So stop showing off already.
30) The villans eyes can glow in dark in evil colors such as red, yellow, green, or black.
31) Animals may take on intelligent properties and vocal skills attributed to humans
32) Characters wear the same set of clothes everyday unless it is a new season of the anime.
33) In the event of a card game, the Main character alone can poroduce from nowhere cards that would be completely useless in any other situation, but are exactly what he needs at that moment.
34) The later a character is introduced, the more bad-ass they are likely to be.
35) When the time comes that the protagonist must do something complicated or amazing for the first time, he will beat all known records and anyone who actually knows what they're doing.
36) Parents either exist and are extremely active or do not exist and are dead or drunk. Active parents are subject to dying for the cause of the main character (Sad right?)
37) The word "nyaa!" or "uwaa" must be uttered at least 50 time per episode.
38) The killing blow will always spray more blood than the human body contains.
These are just a few ^_^ Note that there are SOME exceptions to the rules
~Kyra~
//mad mad world//
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